Friday, January 11, 2008

My Sammy Sam

Have you noticed the lack of pictures of Sam lately? Blogger isn't letting me upload pictures right now or I'd show you why exactly there aren't more pictures of my favorite son. Hint: He sticks his tongue out in every single picture. When I can, I'll post a couple of my favorite. He's such a ham - just one of the many things I love about him.
He and I have been working very, very hard this week on listening, making good choices, and learning from our mistakes (or custakes as he calls them).
I'm also helping him master some skills that most 3 year old probably already possess. I'm not into comparing, so it doesn't matter what other 3 year olds are doing. What I do care about is teaching Sam to do things for himself. This week he's learned how to get himself on and off the potty, how to wash his hands, put on his undies, and get his legs into his pants by himself. It has always been easier and faster to do these things for him, but seeing how proud he is of himself is well worth the extra time it takes. I'm seeing first hand that:

"Children who learn to solve their own problems wind up feeling better about themselves."

This quote cam from the book I'm reading called, "Love and Logic". We have seen a world of difference already. I'm calmer, nicer, more compassionate, and we have more time for fun because there are fewer battles. Sounds pretty nice huh? We are following these simple rules:

1. Replace anger and frustration with empathy.
2. Replace threats and warnings with simple actions.
3. Set limits you can enforce
4. Give away the control you don't need (offer two choices)
5. Turn every mistake or misbehavior into a learning opportunity.
6. Always provide a strong dose of empathy before delivering a consequence

The beauty of this book is that I can apply the principles to Julia as well (consequences for her age would be removing her from the situation or the offending object). I'm learning to change my behavior as well. I've only lost my temper once in 2 1/2 days (Sam woke Julia up from her nap with his whining) Practice makes perfect right? The author's say that, "Every opportunity to own and solve a problem enhances a child's self-respect." I think it applies to moms too.


Kelly January 11, 2008 at 1:13 PM  

Sounds like a great book from what you've told us so far!

Anonymous January 11, 2008 at 1:59 PM  

Yes, I've loved hearing about what you've been learning. Thanks for posting this so I can refer back to it! And *yeah!* that you're already seeing success!!

MerrandaVK January 11, 2008 at 8:32 PM  

I have heard great things about this book. yes, keep posting updates on this.

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